Although Carter’s definition seems to be clear enough, understanding how to distinguish integrity from those who do not possess it can sometimes seem impossible in a society where we determine a person’s worth by their salary, number of likes on a social media post, or followers on their platform. However, fictional superhero characters like Sam provide me and others with a model that may be missing in reality.
            On this last day of Black History Month, Sam has helped me discern the difference between what is right, what is easy, and what it means to blindly follow the rules. Sometimes, the laws are corrupt because the people who created them were flawed. Sometimes, this means choosing to fight a battle that will get you into, “Good trouble,” as the late John Lewis called it. This also means acting on it, even at the risk of personal cost whether it be financially or socially. It means taking a risk to battle even if the world tells you you’re wrong. To tell them what you are doing to inspire others. Many times, this battle will be fought alone and in secret, but it will create a more just world.
            It’s because of fictional superheroes like Sam Wilson (Captain America), Isaiah Bradley (Captain America), John Stewart (Green Lantern), Calvin Ellis (Superman of Earth-23), Jefferson Pierce (Black Lightning), and countless others that I continue to write and speak for survivors when the world tells me to remain silent. To do what is easy rather than what is right. Unfortunately, this is the only way I know to continue being a good man, and a good person in a world where my only superpower is believing that we can be better.

Picture the Batman. Hold the image in your mind. What do you see? Maybe a black cowl with white eyes, rippling abs, bulging biceps, and a cape the color of night capable of hiding the blur of fists and kicks as they assault the criminals of Gotham. You may see a man on his own with his own agenda as he battles the war on crime with nothing but his fists, fancy car, and bottomless bank account of funding any and all of his latest gadgets.

            What makes Batman #150 “Be Better” (2024) stand out among other Batman comics is the fact that it is none of these things. In fact, the comic hardly includes Batman at all. Instead, the story follows the thoughts and actions of thug-for-hire, Teddy.
            Teddy has made his living working for the criminal underbelly most of his adult life. He has been a henchman for B level villains throughout Gotham such as Ventriloquist and Firefly. He has been an absent deadbeat father and an abusive ungrateful partner. He views himself as the victim who has always been given the short end of the stick. Teddy perpetuates a lie to himself and his wife, Kim as he storms out of the apartment after coming home drunk the night prior, “I get it, Kim. I’m a loser. You’ve been #@$%& clear about that for years. All I’ve ever done is try to provide for this family.”
            Teddy is a lowlife who only cares for himself and making a quick buck. However, Teddy has a secret he believes will be the game changer needed to turn his life around. He has discovered the secret identity of Batman and he believes he can cash in to live on easy street.
            First, Teddy tries to sell the information to the villain, Two-Face, but the duplicitous villain already knows the Caped Crusader’s alter ego and he could care less. Next, Teddy attempts to see the information to the Cobblepot Twins (the Penguin’s children), but the transaction falls through. Finally, he ends up with a group of low-level henchmen like himself who plan on using Teddy as collateral against Batman if he attempts to stop them from robbing a bank. Of course, Batman being Batman, he stops the crime before it can ever occur, knocks Teddy out and leaves him to wake up alone in the dorm room of his son who attends Gotham University.
            The adolescent explains how he attempted to follow in the footsteps of his father as a henchman for the villain, Scarecrow. The boy explains how he looked up to his father, taking Teddy’s side over the side of his mother, and viewing the busted knuckles and hand gun of his father as a sign of pride. However, when Batman saved the boy from being poisoned by Scarecrow’s fear toxin, he began to see things differently. Batman listens to the youth and agrees to pay for his education at Gotham University on one condition: be better.
            When Teddy is told he is not what a man is supposed to be, Teddy defends himself by stating, “I am! I hustled! I put food on your table! And this is how you treat me?! I did it for you! Risked my life! For you and your mother!” The son rebuttals and tells Teddy, “You hurt people, helped monsters, because you wanted to. Because you were too scared to enter the real world and have actual responsibilities. And you were addicted to the idea of easy money.”
            Teddy takes his son’s words to heart. He leaves the dorm room and meets Bruce Wayne on the steps of the university with tears in his eyes. Bruce Wayne agrees to pay for Teddy to begin a new life in Metropolis, off the radar of those seeking to cash in on the knowledge he possessed. The only thing Bruce asks is that Teddy attempts to be better.
            So often, as men we view ourselves as victims without options who are only capable of living a life of others rather than ourselves. No, we aren’t henchmen for Two-Face and the Penguin, but we work a 9 to 5 in an office that can be soul crushing. The people we care for look up to us and notice our sacrifice, but still we believe we deserve more. So, we become Teddy. We push those who love us away and only dole out moments of affection we believe capable of affording. Soon, we become the villain as we seek easy money in the form of get-rich-quick schemes and gambling. We view ourselves as screw ups rather than through the eyes of those who see us as heroes. These people don’t want the next big score that will put them on easy street. Instead, they desire a father and husband who is present and putting in the work day-after-day to be better. Not be perfect, but to be better than the man who woke up the previous morning. Some days we will fall short, but each time we try to show people we love what it means to be a good man.

“Can’t be the man without fear if you let people in, Matt. But you can’t be a man at all, if you don’t.”
-       Battlin’ Jack Murdock: Daredevil #100
 
            A new year often comes with the same problems as the previous. For many survivors, whether male or female, there is often the conundrum of intimacy. Healing from toxic stress requires restoring a connection to one’s humanity in the form of intimacy. Unfortunately, fear prevents survivors from becoming more intimate with those they love. This is because survivors fear vulnerability because being laid bare and naked to those closest to us prevents control. While establishing connection with others is the only way reduce the impact of C-PTSD, life lessons have taught survivors to keep the ones we love at a distance because it is the ones we love the most that inflict the most damage.
            Unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this paradox. Instead, it requires putting in the work needed to change negative automatic thoughts that have kept us safe, in control, and capable of coping in world of chaos. It requires a leap of faith, hoping that those who say love and care for us won’t let us fall in the moments we need them the most; and if they do, allow them the grace needed to be human, make mistakes, and fail forward. Finally, it requires the wisdom needed to heal and grow that can only come with time, trial, and error.
            There is no easy answer to this riddle, but it’s a conflict in need of being solved if we are going to forgive our inner Daredevil.

“Kraven’s Last Hunt” is (arguably) one of the best comics ever produced. Yes, J.M. DeMatteis and Mike Zeck are a phenomenal writer and artist combo, but it’s more than that. It does an excellent job of exploring the pressures of living up to beliefs of what it means to be a “real” man.
 
In the Marvel universe, Kraven is a man’s man. He prides himself at being the best hunter in the world. He sports a set of 12 pack abs, and has amazingly chiseled features.

Even though this is true, he still sees himself as lesser because he has always been bested by Spider-Man; a man a fraction of size and a fraction of his macho charisma. So, Kraven traps Spider-Man, assumes his identity, and proves to himself he is a better hero than Spider-Man, and so a better man. However, what is amazing about the comic, is that it provides a deeper message about masculinity and its negative effects.

Afterwards, Kraven gives Spider-Man back his costume, goes into an adjacent room, and kills himself.

Why is this important? Well, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, in 2022, men died by suicide 3.85 times more than women. That’s almost 4xs more. While there are many factors that impact this statistic, it stems from the belief of what it means to be a “real” man. November is Men’s Health Awareness Month which includes mental health. If you have a male in your life you care about, check on them. If you believe they may be in need of some healing and supports, let them know it is okay. Let them know it’s better to be a “good” man rather than attempt to live up to the false beliefs of what it means to be “real” man.