“Can’t be the man without fear if you let people in, Matt. But you can’t be a man at all, if you don’t.”
-       Battlin’ Jack Murdock: Daredevil #100
 
            A new year often comes with the same problems as the previous. For many survivors, whether male or female, there is often the conundrum of intimacy. Healing from toxic stress requires restoring a connection to one’s humanity in the form of intimacy. Unfortunately, fear prevents survivors from becoming more intimate with those they love. This is because survivors fear vulnerability because being laid bare and naked to those closest to us prevents control. While establishing connection with others is the only way reduce the impact of C-PTSD, life lessons have taught survivors to keep the ones we love at a distance because it is the ones we love the most that inflict the most damage.
            Unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this paradox. Instead, it requires putting in the work needed to change negative automatic thoughts that have kept us safe, in control, and capable of coping in world of chaos. It requires a leap of faith, hoping that those who say love and care for us won’t let us fall in the moments we need them the most; and if they do, allow them the grace needed to be human, make mistakes, and fail forward. Finally, it requires the wisdom needed to heal and grow that can only come with time, trial, and error.
            There is no easy answer to this riddle, but it’s a conflict in need of being solved if we are going to forgive our inner Daredevil.